The Tale of the Water Gun

Have you ever wanted to squirt someone with a water gun? It’s probably one of the funniest things to do to someone not expecting it. Be it a tiny little water pistol to an epic tub of water filled with gallons of water and ice cubes. Well growing up I have experienced both. This is the first in a series of two posts about water + unaware victims.

*** Warning, this post contains foul language used by my Grandmother***

My Dad is great, even though some days growing up I would adamantly disagree with that statement. But on this particular day he was great. I t was on this day I learned something that I retain to this day. Old people use bad words. I’m not saying that this excuses the language, or in any way makes it right, but boy was it funny.

We were on vacation in Texas at my grandparent’s house. Let me be the first to tell you, it’s hot in the summer in Texas. This vacation happened to occur on the 50th wedding anniversary of my Nanny and Papa. Having been married for just under two years, it is amazing to me to imagine being with someone for 50 years. Though 6 years ago I thought 6 years in the navy would be an eternity and that went by quick as well. I hope when I celebrate 50 years of marriage it doesn’t seem to have gone by fast at all.

We had set up a new back porch covering in the backyard and were enjoying a BBQ. The kids were having an epic water fight in one corner, consisting of water balloons, water guns and the water hose. We had laid down our arms just long enough to cram some food down into our tummies before the temporary ceasefire ended. This is when my amazing Dad decided he would move in for the kill shot. Grabbing a loaded water pistol he crept up behind his target, my grandmother, who was oblivious to her assailant. She was going inside to get some more lemonade. This is when my Father, the brave man he is, shot her with a single tiny stream of water in the back.

My Grandma immediately became aware of what was happening, and she turned around with vigor and rage. The smiles on everyone’s face disappeared like candy on Halloween. I am pretty sure my Dad may have pissed himself in fear. No one made a sound for what seemed an eternity, before Nanny broke the silence with these words of wisdom. “THAT WASNT A DAMN BIT FUNNY!" She turned and stormed in the house slamming the door behind her. No one spoke or said anything, except my Grandfather, my Papa, who was smiling a smile so big, we could have passed it out to everyone else at the party and still had some left over. I can’t be sure, but I would imagine this was a happy day for him.

Hope today’s a good one,
austininva