Attempted Healthy Cooking

I freely admit, that I am not a great cook. Actually, I am pretty horrible in the art of culinary. I can whip up dishes such as Kraft Mac n Cheese, bowls of cereal, the occasional pop tart and cinnamon rolls. I have even been known to craft peanut and jelly sandwiches. But when it comes to more complicated recipes such as Off-brand mac n cheese, microwavable veggies or oven baked pizzas, simply out of my league.


I had lived on my own for several years, single handedly funding my local McDonalds and Wendy's. No for real, look at 2013-2014 stock of McDonalds, I was the reason they did so well. Considering my future health, I decided it was about this time I needed to spend less on food, cook my own meals, save money and eat healthy... so many grown up decisions al at once. I was impressing myself.

I went to the grocery store and enjoyed shopping for a plethora of meals that I deemed simple to start with. one being pre-made biscuits, 15 min in the oven and presto! Biscuits! Sounds easy, I know what your saying, how could this be ruined, its sooo easy. And you may be right, but for me this was a test. I carefully laid out the biscuits on the tray according to the instructions, measuring the distance between them for "optimal" even baking. set the temp in the oven popped them in and went to my computer to spend 15 min before my dinner of biscuits and jelly.


About 4.5 hours later, I smelled a pretty rank stench... it had been growing in power for a few hours, and I could only imagine what my neighbors were cooking, and considered going next door to see if they knew they were burning. As I stood up from my computer, and began walking to my front door. I noticed a black, billowing smoke trail coming from my kitchen. two things came to mind.

1. My smoke detector is obviously broken.

2. My Neighbors have lit a fire that is burning down the apartment complex!
2a. I need to evacuate myself and my laptop!

As I ran into the kitchen to see the roaring fire that must  in the wall. To my surprise, the only thing wrong was my oven  was surrounded by a cloud of stench and smoke. I was relived that no fire was burning down my house. And also steeling myself for the task of retrieving my biscuits for dinner.

Turns out, if you cook biscuits for almost five hours they turn into hockey pucks. Its true, the NHL makes all their own pucks out of Pillsbury biscuit dough. They are most certainly not edible.

As I sat their with my burnt biscuits, I wondered how hard cooking could possibly be. I didn't want to even think about cooking the chicken I had, nor the canned beans... it just was to much, McDonalds was right across the street. So, I put the chicken in the freezer to be tried another day. Instead I had a Mcchicken, its almost the same thing.

Hope your day is amazing!
austininva