First Day on the Job Failures

This is the first of my Facebook Page Requests. Thank you to all my readers, I hope this story makes the day just a bit more bright!

Who has ever looked dumb in front of their friends? Even worse who has looked dumb in front of their boss and co-workers, on the first day on the job? I am a proud person, and I really don’t like the idea of showing other people this one simple fact. I am human, and I make mistakes. I know the saying, but who really ever found comfort in a saying? I am the first to chuckle when others make a mistake or say something they didn't mean to say.  But, when it comes to number Uno, he is mortified when fate comes collecting.

I have had a few job, Food Lion, UPS, and Sears. All these were fun, though the job that really stands out from my pre-Navy years was working for a Contract Painter. I can say this was a great job, and fondly remember the warm days painting beach houses, and try to forget painting outside in a rainstorm in December. I had such a beginning at this company though.

When you first start working at a painting company, you are relegated to clean up, cleaning brushes and rollers etc. To that end I was a champ, I could drain a brush of its paint in a few moments and when it came to setting up canvas cloths over furniture and bushes, well there was no one better. My boss had a crew of four that day, myself included. I being the low man on the totem pole was charged with bringing supplies to those who were working at higher elevations, (the 2nd and 3rd floor of the Condo.) I could traverse up and won the ladder well, but not quite fast enough for my employer. "Just throw me up a tube of caulk!" he called down.

God has blessed me with a kind heart and a smart brain, and I am thankful for that. God saw fit to leave out the coordinated genes and the sporty genes, specifically the genes that deal with throwing accurately. I know this, all my good friends know this, and the only person in the world who did not know this was the man who was paying me to throw a tube of caulk up 3 stories. You can imagine the predicament I found myself. Either I throw and embarrass myself when I fail, or I tell him I can’t throw. I chose to be the bigger man and admit my flaw. I told him, "I'm not really a sporty guy; I’ll just run it up the ladder."

Remember how I said my boss didn’t think I was fast enough, "Just throw it into my hand, right here. Everyone can throw!" he yelled back. I thought about that for a second before I yelled back. "No, I really can’t throw very well." I didn’t want to make my boss angry on the first day, so as he replied back how I was to throw it to him right then. I decided it was in my professional interest to throw the tube.

I went to the van, got the tube, and cocked my arm back to throw. Noticing everyone on the crew was looking, I failed to notice one very important person watching also. More on that later.

Poised to throw, I released the caulk, it was glorious, straight and true it flew. Fast and with purpose, Payton manning would be proud... If only I had thrown the caulk in the right direction. Somehow I had managed to aim at my boss and throw the complete wrong way. Time resumed its normal flow and we watched now in horror as the caulk landed in front of that one other very important person. The Customer. The middle aged woman let out a sort of half scream half muffled cry as the caulk tube exploded at her feet. The tube spewed fresh caulk all over her, the flower garden, her car and her house.

I looked at the woman, and then up to my boss, whose face I can’t describe. The look of a man who has constipation but at the same time is trying not to laugh at their favorite comedian is my best description. Luckily another of the crew was a fast talking and quick witted fellow, and he walked the lady into her home, saying soothing things, like "We will clean all this up like it never happened" and, "he is a new addition to the crew, mistakes like this are common for new employees." I felt wonderful; I was to be fired on my first day.

I was not fired; he actually bought my lunch after we were done at the house. Remember, to err is to be Human.

Hope today’s a good one,
austininva